ADVICE COLUMN
Ask Joy
Reprinted with permission from The National Rumor
Dear Joy,
I
just had a terrible experience, and I wanted to share my story with all your
readers as a cautionary tale. I opened my door one night to a couple claiming to
be from the maintenance department from my apartment building. No sooner did I
let them in when the man pulled out a gun and the woman threatened me with a
knife. They told me not to scream, and since I’m rather petite I knew it was
useless to even try to resist them. I got really nervous when they hustled me
into the bedroom and tied me tightly with a lot of rope. They quickly tied my
hands behind my back and pulled my feet up toward my hands and tied them, then
they stuffed a cloth in my mouth and gagged me with duct tape and the woman
opened my blouse and pulled my bra aside to reveal my breasts. Then they robbed
my apartment and took my cell phone and the credit cards from my purse. After
they left I tried to get myself loose, but I was terribly afraid of falling and
hurting myself. Joy, I was helplessly tied up and gagged for the next FOURTEEN
hours! Even though this was a harrowing experience, I feel I was lucky that I
was only bound and gagged and not harmed, but I want you to warn everyone to
never open your door to just anyone, and always ask to see credentials, or call
the building manager before letting anyone into your place.
- Hogtied in New Hampshire
Dear Hogtied,
You were, indeed, lucky that you weren’t injured or worse. I’ll
pass this along, and I hope everyone pays attention. If you really want to end
up bound, gagged and helpless for hours on end, always make sure it’s with
someone you know and trust, not strangers off the street.
Dear Joy,
I
need your advice because this has been eating away at me for weeks now. I was at
home and my friend "Heather" (not her real name) was visiting when we
became the victims of a home invasion robbery. The robbers marched us both into
the back bedroom and forced us to strip down to our panties and pantyhose, and
they let us keep our high-heels on. They tightly tied us up with rope and put
duct-tape over our mouths before they cleaned the place out. Heather and I
struggled to free ourselves, but the ropes were expertly tied, very tight and we
were tied in a way that we couldn’t reach each other or the knots, so we were
stuck. Several hours later my boyfriend "Donnie" (not his real name)
came home from watching a football game with friends. He heard our muffled
noises coming from the bedroom, and got Heather and me free before calling the
police. But what really burns me up is Donnie untied Heather first! I don’t
know if there’s some kind of official etiquette for this type of situation,
but shouldn’t my boyfriend have cut me loose first? I mean, I am
his girlfriend. I’m usually not the jealous type, but it almost makes me
wonder if there isn’t something going on between Donnie and Heather. Donnie
says I’m making too much of this, but I just can’t get past that moment when
I was laying there gagged and helpless and watching my boyfriend untying her
first.
- Fit To Be Tied
Dear Tied,
There are a number of things to be considered here. For one
thing, was Heather closer to the door when Donnie came in? If so, wouldn’t it
have been logical for him to untie her first since she was closest? Or perhaps
Donnie was just trying to be a gracious host. After all, Heather was a
guest in your home at the time of the robbery. A good host will always take care
of his guests first. If you can’t get over this, perhaps you should consider
doing a dramatic recreation. Have Donnie tie and gag you both again, then he can
come in and free you first. See if you feel any differently once the scenario
has played out as you’d hoped it would.
Dear Joy,
I
never thought I’d be writing to a fictitious advice columnist, and I realize
this may be an unusual question, but I need your help. I’ve been dating
"Gary" (not his real alias) for over a year now, and he’s really a
wonderful guy… kind and thoughtful, and very caring. In fact, we were starting
to talk about marriage. But last week he told me he has a rather unusual
interest, and I went along with it. Now, every time we make love, Gary always
asks me to put on black lingerie, gloves, stockings and high-heeled shoes, and
then he ties me up with rope and gags me with a scarf. I have to admit the
sex is really great, but I can’t help but have the feeling this is a little
weird. Is this normal or should I hop out the door?
- Tied Up In Knots
Dear Knots,
Sure it’s normal. The real question is do you want to
get married? Do you both have the same goals for marriage? Are you both from the
same socio-economic background? Is there a conflict with your religious beliefs?
How do you feel about having children? Are you going to have a prenuptial
agreement? Have you considered that almost half of all marriages end in divorce?
(The rate is even higher if it’s the second time around) There are a lot more
serious issues to consider before you really "tie the knot."
Dear
Joy,
My experience was not too unlike "Hogtied in New
Hampshire"’s story. I was alone and working late at the health club when
a masked man broke in overpowered me. I was tied up with black electrical tape.
He taped my hands behind my back, then he wrapped more tape above and below my
breasts. He taped my ankles and knees, then bent my legs so I was hogtied, and
he even taped my white sneakers together! Then he took his knife and cut my
leotard open, exposing my ample breasts. I was so humiliated! I begged for the
intruder not to hurt me and I tried telling him that there wasn’t any money,
but he gagged me with more of the sticky black tape. The strange thing was the
only thing he stole was a bunch of soiled leotards from the laundry hamper. I
have to admit the burglar was pretty thorough in tying me up, and I struggled as
best as I could but I wasn’t able to budge an inch! I got quite an aerobic
workout, but it was all to no avail. I was still tied as tightly as ever when my
girlfriend came to pick me up two hours later! I can’t get this strange
experience out of my mind, Joy. What would cause a man to do something like
this?
- Helpless and Wondering in Walla-Walla
Dear Helpless,
There are a lot of very strange people in the world. I, for one,
can’t understand why your intruder used electrical tape and not duct tape. It
certainly would’ve made more sense… although I suppose the tape he chose did
do an adequate job.
Dear
Joy,
Not long ago I came home unexpectedly, and I was quite surprised
when I discovered my roommate "Clarissa" (not her real name) and her
boyfriend playing a "game." Clarissa was wearing a black bustier,
fishnet stocking, boots and black opera gloves, and her boyfriend
"Oscar" (actually his real name) had her tied up in a very unusual,
rather athletic position, bent backward over a chair, one ankle tied to her
thigh and the other leg stretched and roped up to the ceiling. Her hands were
bound behind her under the chair and she was gagged with black duct tape. They
immediately assured me that nothing was wrong, and that they were just having
fun. I was embarrassed and immediately went to my room, but later on I became
curious about all this and I asked about their little games. 
Clarissa
and Oscar gave me quite a demonstration and tied me up in quite a few innovative
and stringent positions, many of which I found to be very stimulating. Is this
normal? I now find myself wanting to be tied and gagged more and more frequently…
in fact, I’m tied up right now. Should I seek professional help or just
continue to explore my newfound interest?
- Tangled up in Tampa
Dear Tangled,
You may consider seeing a professional, if there’s a dungeon
nearby. However, be sure to get references before spending any money on a Dom
(or Domme). Also, bear in mind that a professional is not always necessary. If
you have a willing boyfriend, the joy of discovery can be quite thrilling.
Got
a knotty problem for Joy? Her secretary is ready now to take your questions!
Email Joy at askjoy@thenationalrumor.com
NOTE: Any resemblance between "Ask Joy" and any
other advice columnist who publishes obviously fabricated letters with bondage
themes is purely coincidental.
Special thanks to Dorothy
Laine, Nicole Moore, Lena
Ramon, Mary Jane, Ashley
Renee, Alsana Sin, Amalieve,
and Elise
di Medici